Merry Christmas From Myspazz.com

If we don't update soon, it's because we're playing Mario Kart and simultaneously wanking ourselves into a stupor.

Love

The Myspazz Cru'

What's Glass Museum playing on the toilet this week?

Advance Wars DS!


And he still can't get past mission 20.

Dog urinates on 360 Lounge.

Nothing much else to report.

THINGS IT TURNS OUT YOU SHOULDN'T DO IN REAL LIFE #5,263

TELL STRANGERS ABOUT THE MASSIVE GAY ORGY YOU HAD ON AN ONLINE GAME LAST NIGHT

How many Japanese folk does it take to buy an Xbox?

This many:
Only joking, some people actually did turn up, most of them white and fat with beards and glasses, and name tags that read "Vivendi Universal".

This was the view from the back of the actual queue. If you look closely you can see that I'm not really playing mario kart, it's all an elaborate trick to make it look like the Nintendo DS is more fun than the 360. Which it actually is, by the way.


Once inside, we got to choose from the SIX launch games. Two of those were made by EA. One of those was Tetris. We were getting the impression that Microsoft weren't exactly taking this seriously.

Having realised no one was going to buy anything, Microsoft reps started packing up, then quickly left to throw themselves infront of the Shinkansen.

Inside the bag we got this excellent coffee cup, with instructions to use it at "the Xbox360 Cafe".

No thank you; we've been there, it was shite.


Just before we escaped with our overly-heavy waste of space, we got to try our luck on the giant Xbox360 "gatcha-gatcha" machine. If you look closely you can see that even the nice ladies' costumes have been designed for the launch. Let's take a closer look;

Yes it does, doesn't it.


The guy infront of us won Ridge Racer 6; all we won were these crappy tickets to see Liverpool play in Yokohama! It's okay though - we swapped them for a pack of really cool badges. That'll show them.


Having spent the morning immersed in white and green we headed on home in hopes that we'd find something far more interesting to look at.
And we did.

Snake eating 101 (featuring the Indian one from Blue Peter)

We saw Shigeru Miyamoto!

He told us not to worry about the success of the Revolution, and pointed calmly at the unmanned Xbox 360 behind him. He then offered to suck our cocks for drug money as long as we didn't tell anyone.

And we never did.

Xbox 360: Best Graphics EVER!

Note the creative use of black splodges to represent the oppression of women in modern society. This alone is almost enough to justify reading all those automated e-mails from Amazon.

Remember the PSP?

It was amazing! It was the first handheld you could play MP3s on without buying extra stuff for it, you could even watch films - like Spiderman 2! You could view all your photos on its really big high-quality screen, even ones of naked ladies touching other naked ladies. If you stood outside a house that was rich enough to have a wireless internet router, you could view even more naked ladies - and KIDS - and it was the family who's router you were using who'd get arrested by the police! It even played games, and not the shit ones like Grand Theft Auto and Burnout; we're talking Space Invaders, Jet Set Willy, Dig Dug and Pacman.

Best of all: We saw one:

This guy was special - we didn't know of anyone who owned a PSP anymore. He was middle aged and had a suit and a brief case and everything. We figured since he was Japanese he must be watching a video of a 16 year old girl washing dishes in a maid's outfit and saying things like "I found blood in my urine", but no, he was playing Donkey Kong.

There's not a lot we can learn from this experience other than, Japanese businessmen know tricks. They may seem like depressed, overworked, drunken molesters, but that aside, they can swap a memory stick like David fucking Blaine.

Kudos to you Mr Salary man, we got you all wrong.