With the exciting news of Burnout Revenge's imminent release on September 9th, we've gone to the trouble of highlighting the most rockin' tunes from the games mega hit sound track. Simply discard any non-highlighted tracks from your playlist, and you too can enjoy tearing up busy motorways without the fear of becoming an emotionally defected bisexual.
Andy Hunter - Come On
Animal Alpha - Bundy
Apocalyptica - Life Burns!
Asian Dub Foundation - Flyover
Avenged Sevenfold - Beast...
Billy Talent - Red Flag
Bloc Party - Helicopter
Bullet For My Valentine - Hand Of Blood
The Chemical Brothers - The Big Jump
CKY - As The Tables Turn
Comeback Kid - Wake The Dead
The Dead 60s - Riot Radio
Dogs - Tuned to a Different Station
The Doors - Break On Through (To The Other Side) BT vs. The Doors Remix
Emanuel - The Hey Man!
Fall Out Boy - Dance, Dance
Finch - Ink
Funeral For A Friend - All The Rage
Goldfinger - I Want
Infusion - Better World (Adam Freeland Mix)
Junkie XL - Today
LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk is Playing at My House (Soulwax Shibuya Mix)
Maximo Park - Apply Some Pressure
Mindless Self Indulgence - Straight To Video (KMFDM Remix)
Morningwood - Nu Rock
MxPx - Heard That Sound
Nine Black Alps - Shot Down
OK Go - Do What You Want
Pennywise - Stand Up
The Academy Is... - Almost Here
The All-American Rejects - Top Of The World
The Black Velvets - Fear And Loathing
The Bravery - An Honest Mistake (Superdiscount Remix)
The Outline - Shotgun
The Starting Line - The World
Thrice - Lullaby
Timo Maas - First Day (General Midi Remix)
Tsar - Band-Girls-Money
Unwritten Law - F.I.G.H.T.
We Are Scientists - The Great Escape
Yellowcard - Lights And Sounds
And there you have it. Nice one EA, money well spent.
GLASS MUSEUM SEZ:
Christ. Burnout 3's soundtrack was slightly amusing, largely because it served me well as a crash-course (Haha!) in emo, but this is going to be awful. Good job I won't be paying any money for it! Hahahahahahaha!
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Nintendo All Stars '05: Shite.
Tell a lie, it was a very enjoyable day out. When I say 'enjoyable', I mean 'tolerable', but the playable demo of Zelda: Twilight Princess was certainly icing sweet enough to make any bowl of turd taste like Jessica Alba's underpants.
If you're expecting anything less than a load of photos with supposedly quirky anecdotes, you're going to be horribly let down:
This is the main van. We spent a fair while staring at this as we waited for the 'attractive yet cunt-like' student types to become 'arsed' enough to set up the event.
As much as we'd like to tell you that this is a high-tech Nintendo themed men's loo, it's actually the inside of the all stars van. Super Mario Striker and Wario Ware Mawaru aside, we would have had more fun with the urinal cakes.
Outside the all stars van was 'the pussy wagon' (do you see?). Next to this were a few DSs featuring playable versions of Nintendogs. Unfortunately the general bastard public had scratched the touch-screens to a point where it was impossible to see what the hell was going on. Only the playful yelps emitting from the speakers stopped us from breaking down completely, crying in a puddle of our own piss.
Luckily for us, there was one thing that could make it all better; Zelda: Twilight Princess. When we asked the attractive lady when exactly 'soon' would be, she told us late October. We thought about this, and wondered if she'd ever been to Nintendo's game's information pages, or if she actually knew what the internet was.
As you can see the demo consisted of the same two sections that everybody saw at E3. Unfortunately we don't get paid enough money to go to Los Angeles, so Warwickshire had to do. The number below the two screens is the time limit you get to play the game. This was done to stop the frantic queues from getting out of control.
These are the frantic queues. Deadly. You can't really tell from this angle, but this small boy is actually squinting to a point where his eyes are fully shut. Why...
...Because Nintendo Europe don't see reason in paying for picture quality. Thanks Nintendo, thanks a fucking bunch. If you look closely you can see that in this scene, Link is coaxing a prostitute into his car, where he'll have his way and later steal her money having blugeoned her to death with a nine-iron.
An example of the cunts that Nintendo hired to run this thing. We know what you're thinking, and we would too, but that doesn't stop her from being any less shit. On the way home I fell asleep on the train, and dreamt about punching this guy in the mouth. It was pretty good.
Elsewhere on site, Jimi Hendrix was signing his new book. Believe us, it's a lot better than Pokemon Dash.
Finally we hit the jackpot, these two 'sexy babes' were promoting the DS at a different part of the show. We'd make a funny joke about the whole 'Touch Me' marketing slogan, but to be fair, we took a picture of their arses and ran away.
As for the overall experience, it was somewhat of a let-down, the whores didn't even offer us any free stuff other than a plastic cup half filled with some kind of milk-shake.
Depressed? You're not wrong.
If you're expecting anything less than a load of photos with supposedly quirky anecdotes, you're going to be horribly let down:
This is the main van. We spent a fair while staring at this as we waited for the 'attractive yet cunt-like' student types to become 'arsed' enough to set up the event.
As much as we'd like to tell you that this is a high-tech Nintendo themed men's loo, it's actually the inside of the all stars van. Super Mario Striker and Wario Ware Mawaru aside, we would have had more fun with the urinal cakes.
Outside the all stars van was 'the pussy wagon' (do you see?). Next to this were a few DSs featuring playable versions of Nintendogs. Unfortunately the general bastard public had scratched the touch-screens to a point where it was impossible to see what the hell was going on. Only the playful yelps emitting from the speakers stopped us from breaking down completely, crying in a puddle of our own piss.
Luckily for us, there was one thing that could make it all better; Zelda: Twilight Princess. When we asked the attractive lady when exactly 'soon' would be, she told us late October. We thought about this, and wondered if she'd ever been to Nintendo's game's information pages, or if she actually knew what the internet was.
As you can see the demo consisted of the same two sections that everybody saw at E3. Unfortunately we don't get paid enough money to go to Los Angeles, so Warwickshire had to do. The number below the two screens is the time limit you get to play the game. This was done to stop the frantic queues from getting out of control.
These are the frantic queues. Deadly. You can't really tell from this angle, but this small boy is actually squinting to a point where his eyes are fully shut. Why...
...Because Nintendo Europe don't see reason in paying for picture quality. Thanks Nintendo, thanks a fucking bunch. If you look closely you can see that in this scene, Link is coaxing a prostitute into his car, where he'll have his way and later steal her money having blugeoned her to death with a nine-iron.
An example of the cunts that Nintendo hired to run this thing. We know what you're thinking, and we would too, but that doesn't stop her from being any less shit. On the way home I fell asleep on the train, and dreamt about punching this guy in the mouth. It was pretty good.
Elsewhere on site, Jimi Hendrix was signing his new book. Believe us, it's a lot better than Pokemon Dash.
Finally we hit the jackpot, these two 'sexy babes' were promoting the DS at a different part of the show. We'd make a funny joke about the whole 'Touch Me' marketing slogan, but to be fair, we took a picture of their arses and ran away.As for the overall experience, it was somewhat of a let-down, the whores didn't even offer us any free stuff other than a plastic cup half filled with some kind of milk-shake.
Depressed? You're not wrong.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Telling lies with Peter Molyneux
As of today two leading games developers have announced their anticipation of Nintendo's "Revolution" having supposedly sampled the design of the ground breaking controller.
One of those men was Yuji Naka, the father of sonic, bringer of love to gaming. We like him.
The other was Peter (lying, swindelling, thieving, whoring) Molyneux.
His actual words weren't even his, he quoted them from 'Game Over', a book that he didn't write!
Is he telling the truth? Did he really see the Revolution controller? Or is he just lying, the same way he did about Fable, The Movies, Theme Park World...
Our verdict: He's lying. He's making things up once again to hide the fact that Black and White 2 still isn't out. Shut up Peter Molyneux, you look like our dads!
One of those men was Yuji Naka, the father of sonic, bringer of love to gaming. We like him.
The other was Peter (lying, swindelling, thieving, whoring) Molyneux.
His actual words weren't even his, he quoted them from 'Game Over', a book that he didn't write!
Is he telling the truth? Did he really see the Revolution controller? Or is he just lying, the same way he did about Fable, The Movies, Theme Park World...
Our verdict: He's lying. He's making things up once again to hide the fact that Black and White 2 still isn't out. Shut up Peter Molyneux, you look like our dads!
J Allard: "We want to suck the life out of viral marketing."
Allard: The masses are congregating outside, sir.
Big Voice: What now?
Allard: They say that having two versions of the Xbox360 is a "fucking big waste of time"
Big Voice: They have a point. Any ideas how to divert their attention?
Allard: Our Colony was pretty good. I could throw together an image of a cat and a tree and stick it on the internet.
Big Voice: Better make it a rabbit. Less aggresive, more mysterious.
Allard: Sir, you're a god-damned genius. I'll get the felt tip pens.
origenxbox360.com
Because sometimes we run out of things to talk about on web forums.
Big Voice: What now?
Allard: They say that having two versions of the Xbox360 is a "fucking big waste of time"
Big Voice: They have a point. Any ideas how to divert their attention?
Allard: Our Colony was pretty good. I could throw together an image of a cat and a tree and stick it on the internet.
Big Voice: Better make it a rabbit. Less aggresive, more mysterious.
Allard: Sir, you're a god-damned genius. I'll get the felt tip pens.
origenxbox360.com
Because sometimes we run out of things to talk about on web forums.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Johnny Apocalypse goes outside.
Hello, last friday I travelled to the north of England to a place called "Edinburgh", here I did many interesting and perfectly normal human things, some of which I documented with my "digital camera". Here are the "best" bits:
Most people will notice this as the open hair-pin on the first Edinburgh race of Project Gotham 2. It's possible to recreate the in-game experience by making car noises with your mouth and running really fast. Sometimes passers by will shout "KUDOS".
This is Edinburgh castle, most people should recognise it from both Mickey Mouse and the Castle of Illusion and Return to Castle Wolfenstein. The majority don't realise that both are based on this same castle, the big hint is the Disney logo and the swastika on the flag.
Edinburgh also has depressed girls with low self esteem who think wearing black fishnets and punching holes in various parts of their bodies will give their lives more meaning. Little do they realise that all they need is Katamari Damacy.
On the way back to the train I passed a large screen announcing Mo Mowlem's death. This made me sad as he was my favourite rapper.
Most people will notice this as the open hair-pin on the first Edinburgh race of Project Gotham 2. It's possible to recreate the in-game experience by making car noises with your mouth and running really fast. Sometimes passers by will shout "KUDOS".
This is Edinburgh castle, most people should recognise it from both Mickey Mouse and the Castle of Illusion and Return to Castle Wolfenstein. The majority don't realise that both are based on this same castle, the big hint is the Disney logo and the swastika on the flag.
Edinburgh has Black people too. This ones checking out the Bus routes. He's probably laced with bombs.
This is a monument for a guy called Scot. At first I assumed it was a replica of the central pillar of Warlock from the Halo 2 maps pack, but afterwards realised how silly I was. It's obviously the Demon Cathedral from Dead or Alive 2.
Edinburgh also has depressed girls with low self esteem who think wearing black fishnets and punching holes in various parts of their bodies will give their lives more meaning. Little do they realise that all they need is Katamari Damacy.
On the way back to the train I passed a large screen announcing Mo Mowlem's death. This made me sad as he was my favourite rapper.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
WHO IS THIS WOMAN?
I MUST KNOW.She's in this month's Edge. Brick Bardo's column. Next to Superman and Storm Trooper Elvis. But it doesn't say who she is. And I must find out because I have fallen in love with her. I thought I was in love with Zophia from handjobaudtions.com, but I was wrong. Mystery Edge girl is the one for me.
MYSTERY EDGE GIRL, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Tiger Woods 2006
Has nothing to do with tigers, it's not set in the woods and has nothing to confirm that it's set in 2006.
All in all I'd give it a GOLF out of TEN.
All in all I'd give it a GOLF out of TEN.
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