The first step towards becoming an assassin is to make sure you are bald. It's a well-known fact that all the world's greatest killers have been bald. Examples:
- Patrick Stewart
- Roy Castle
- All the members of Right Said Fred
- Mo Mowlam
Furthermore, being bald makes you more aerodynamic and less conspicuous. This effect is multiplied by six if you also have a barcode tattooed on the back of your head.
2. Kill anyone you don't like the look of and stuff them down a fucking sewer entrance.
Look at this cunt. You think you can just jog around the suburb, minding your own business and being friendly to anyone who crosses your path? Not on 47's watch, son.
3. Guards are appallingly short-sighted.
Here, you can see that 47 has murdered an innocent woman. However, the highly-trained FBI agents across the road are totally unaware of this, due to their inability to see more than ten feet in front of them. On the other hand, there is also a distinct possibility that they saw the murder, but just don't care about it due to the victim being black.
4. Soothe the guilt.
At a glance, it may look like 47 has killed a binman, taken his clothes, and is about to pile him into a garbage truck. However, this is not quite the case. 47 has merely knocked the man unconscious, and is now loading the body into the truck to be crushed. This way, 47 can con himself into thinking that he isn't really a murderer, and that the death of the man is the fault of the truck. Thus, he can walk away happily whistling My Old Man's A Dustman by Lonnie Donegan - an activity that we would recommend to all assassins.
5. Open fire on large groups of government agents.
No real reason for this one. I just thought the screenshot was funny.
THIS CONCLUDES THE FIRST PART OF OUR EXCELLENT GUIDE. CONTINOUSLY HAMMER F5 LIKE A TOTAL FUCKNUT OVER THE NEXT WEEK OR SO FOR EVEN MORE EXCELLENT SUPER-KILLINGS ADVICE!!!
6 comments:
I think picture 5 reminds me of The Matrix.
I have no idea why this is.
Gixxa may have a point. 47 looks kind of like he's pinching the guy's neck to paralyse him, like ducks do before sex so the lady duck can't get away.
Look, Glass Museum, I've told you before, the stuff you read on Scary Duck's blog isn't meant to be the same as what real ducks do...
"The next week or so"?
I've been hammering F5 for two weeks straight now, waiting for this site to update, but all it's given me is a weak wrist.
A WEAK WRIST.
sweet site dude. have to agree about the 47 garbage man thing tho. looks a lot like wufta-love to me. i think u shud make a halo version tho, that games shithot. oh, btw, DONT FORGET TO REMEMBER! look for it in manchester, thats my work.
What about Grant and Phil from Eastenders? lol
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