Remember the PSP?

It was amazing! It was the first handheld you could play MP3s on without buying extra stuff for it, you could even watch films - like Spiderman 2! You could view all your photos on its really big high-quality screen, even ones of naked ladies touching other naked ladies. If you stood outside a house that was rich enough to have a wireless internet router, you could view even more naked ladies - and KIDS - and it was the family who's router you were using who'd get arrested by the police! It even played games, and not the shit ones like Grand Theft Auto and Burnout; we're talking Space Invaders, Jet Set Willy, Dig Dug and Pacman.

Best of all: We saw one:

This guy was special - we didn't know of anyone who owned a PSP anymore. He was middle aged and had a suit and a brief case and everything. We figured since he was Japanese he must be watching a video of a 16 year old girl washing dishes in a maid's outfit and saying things like "I found blood in my urine", but no, he was playing Donkey Kong.

There's not a lot we can learn from this experience other than, Japanese businessmen know tricks. They may seem like depressed, overworked, drunken molesters, but that aside, they can swap a memory stick like David fucking Blaine.

Kudos to you Mr Salary man, we got you all wrong.