New Screenshot of "Jumper"!

More Things That Should Have Appeared Last Year

Oneechanbara Vortex!

Wahey look at this, another example of Japan being a bit weird and creepy when it comes to prepubescent girls. I wonder if Jack Thompson knows about this stuff.

A schoolgirl in her underwear covered in blood. The educational videos did warn her this was going to happen.


Don't worry! Games are classed as art these days, if it was in a French gallery nobody would say a word. If it makes you feel any better - she's not real. You can't go to hell for wanking over something that isn't real.

Can you?

Transformers on Blu-Ray DVD at Woolworths!

That Michael Bay really IS eager.

If Something Goes Missing...

It's usually in Silent Hill.

LARA CROFT WASHES FANNY IN THE RAIN!

Hooray! To think of all the time we spent wishing they'd include this sort of move and now they've gone and done it! This is of course a new screen shot of Tomb Raider Underworld, which will feature Lara Croft shooting the fuck out of a load of working class Northern women in an underwear factory on Coronation Street.

Here's another screen shot to emphasise the amount of time the developers have spent rendering Lara's soaking wet tits;

King of Clubs video review!

10/10 Best Game Ever.

Is Raw Danger the greatest game ever made?

Quick answer: Yes.

Steve Jobs Has Something Small To Show You.

Can you guess what it is?


Oh! It's the torso of Heather Small from the M Peoples! Thanks Steve!

Exciting screen shot of Jack Ass the "game" DS

Happy New Year!

It's 2008! Who would've thought 36 hour sessions of guitar hero could warp your sense of time, space and decency?

Anyway, here's to another awful year of half-arsed updates about games we hate because we're so horribly bitter. To kick start it I've included a screen-shot of Assassin's Creed DS, in which Altair seems to have completely missed the point.

Spack-handed twat.

MSN Screen-Cap from About 3 Months Ago

It isn't? Thank Christ for that, I'm off to date Nelly Furtado.

Problems with Assassin's Creed: Part 1 (of 867)

New Contender for Creepiest Baby Game:

Mmm... That's right Jade, put on the nice panties that daddy bought you. Now do a little turn... That's the ticket.

Joke of the Month.

Q.) Why did the Italian plumber get kicked out of the chocolate factory?


A.) Because he tried to marry a galaxy (Mario Galaxy).


More gems like that: Soon.

Imagine Babies or Baby Pals: Which is Less Likely to Result in Arrest?

Imagine Babies

Not so much a baby as a toddler really. Slightly gormless expression suggests parents are half-witted benefit hoarders who's attempts at educating the fat idiot are 12 hour marathons of Boo-Bah. Nice room though.

6/10

Baby Pals

Looking like a cross between Hannibal Lecter and a nudist, Baby Pals definitely caters for audiences seeking a more risqué approach to child upbringing. Baby's size in comparison to clouds suggests that it is some sort of baby giant - or in fact, giant baby. Effective use of little white bird.

8/10

Golden Compass DS Promotes Child Abuse!

Keeley Hazell Plunges Shaft into Box

It's upsetting to see that video game launches are still a fairly Z-list affair, but at least the title should keep the site traffic flowing for another month.

Horsez 2 Vaguely Familiar...

Of course! It's the sequel to Horsez. How silly of me.

Assassin's Creed Has Gone Gold!

It's official! The game that PS3 owners have been longing for, and Xbox 360 owners are making time in between their buckets of excellent games for is nearly upon us. The game launches November 16th, and is said to be the best free running game since the free running game.

We can't wait!

Man Glues Head to Satellite Dish: Starts to Bleed

Let this be a lesson to you all!