Wheel of Fortune 2 - Spinning on to PC This Spring

PS3's "Home": Set to re-create the real world.

"Baby in a Rucksack Mode" Added to Battlefield

Sim City DS: Just like real life.

It's about time the DS saw some realism. More of this please.

More secret WarioWare forms revealed!

Secret "form" discovered in Wario Ware: Smooth Moves.

...Slow weekend.

This is what we do when we're not drawing cocks on things.

Bratz Ponyz: Exciting new shot!

That's right, we've been given exclusive rights to the latest screen shot of The Game Factory's latest foot and mouth quarantine-o-thon;

BRATZ PONYZ^TM CANTER INTO STORES SUMMER 2007

The Game Factory announces Bratz Ponyz^TM on Nintendo DS^TM!

Chertsey, United Kingdom – December 7th 2006: The Game Factory today announces the European release of Bratz Ponyz™ for the Nintendo DS in Summer 2007, allowing gamers to combine a hatred for farm-based viral diseases with every girl's love of maiming horses.

Appealing to gamers of all ages but specifically targeting the expanding agricultural professionals market, the game sees you arrive on the Ponyz archipelago to participate in the prestigious Ponyz Town culling. The competition takes place over a year and gives you the chance to experience the heart-ache of obliterating an entire farm, infected with foot and mouth disease. In addition, between each challenge you are completely free to explore the gorgeous tropical islands, just don't forget to disinfect your wellies!

The game allows you to

• Incinerate one of the 8 Bratz Ponyz™.
• Participate in the prestigious, "Ponyz Town Culling" which will develop your skills as a marksman and heartless bastard.
• Take care of your Ponyz hairstyle, by blowing the fuck out of it with automatic weaponry.
• Shop in Ponyz Town and collect everything related to agricultural warfare.
• Freely explore the Ponyz archipelago and fight against rabid mutant farm animals.
• Experience natural and intuitive game play, using the DS touchscreen feature.
• Play numerous mini-games integrated into the adventure.
• Compare your combos and exchange gun-fire with your friends via Wi Fi.

Bratz Ponyz™ is developed by NEKO Entertainment and published by The Game Factory
for Nintendo DS and is released across Europe in Summer 2007.

Remember that fake Peter Molyneux account we made on Myspace?

Don't worry, we wouldn't either.

Anyway, it seems it got deleted this morning, so some humourless wanker must've reported us.

Still, rather this than going to court, eh?

Some Hotel Dusk screenshots I meant to put on here about a month ago

I finished the game this morning, so that reminded me.


And that's how you finish the game.

HMV have lost the plot!

Having sold our last bag of weed to some hyperactive 7 year olds for 20 quid, we headed down to HMV to pre-order a PS3, which we would later be swapping for more weed.

Imagine our horror when we discovered that to simply pre-order a console it was going to cost us 100 pounds!


Poor HMV, they really haven't got a clue have they?

Ideas for new Medal of Honour game.

Dear EA,

Please change this:


To this:


Lots of love

The Myspazz boyz.

xxx

Next-Gen Turok in "Shiny" shocker.

No it's not being developed by Shiny (you idiots) it just is incredibly shiny. Much like Perfect Dark Zero, the Xbox 360's Shinifier has been pushed to it's maximum ability creating environments and character models a whopping 15 times shinier than the last generation.

Here's a screen shot.

Rumour has it that in order to play the Playstation 4 and Xbox 720 you'll actually be required to wear sun glasses to prevent blindness.

We're going to look so fucking cool.

New Burnout!

Let's have a look at a screen shot shall we?

Well that looks...looks...well it looks like Burnout Revenge. What's the difference you ask?

Well it's called Burnout Domination isn't it, which means instead of getting revenge on you rivals, you have to dominate them with leather whips and stuff. It'll probably feature music by Bloc Party and My Chemical Romance and maybe even The Ordinary Boys.

It's coming out on PS2 and PSP, so we're guessing the target audience are chavs, and poor people who can't afford to buy into this generation.

We'll be keeping up to date with Burnout Domination as more info comes in, but for now, here's the press release for Burnout Revenge with the dates and key-words changed.

EA DELIVERS CRUSHING VEHICULAR PAYBACK IN BURNOUT DOMINATION

Players Rip Through Traffic and Settle the Score In the Sequel to 2007's Racing Game of the Year

Chertsey, Surrey, UK – April 4, 2005 – According to the 2007 Urban Mobility Report by the Texas Transportation Institute, U.S. commuters endured 3.5 billion hours of traffic delays in 2002, at a cost of more than $63.2 billion. It's hell on the highway and Electronic Arts (NASDAQ: ERTS) today announced plans to let gamers live out their wildest commuter fantasies this [SOON] with Burnout Domination^TM.

Burnout Domination lets gamers rip through rush hour traffic and lay waste to scores of rubbernecking roadhogs [ooh nice use of alliteration] in an over-the-top scene of vehicular mayhem. The game is currently in development by Criterion Games for the PlayStation^®2 computer entertainment system and PSP^® video game system from SONY.

Burnout Domination is the sequel to 2005's award-winning Burnout REVENGE, which in [MONTH] this year won NO BAFTA Awards because it was shite, 50 Cent Bullet Proof won Best Racing and Best PS2 game categories, as well as being crowned Best PS2 game at the Joystick Awards 2004 [Because it's run by twats].

In addition to tricked out new race, crash and road rage modes, Burnout Revenge takes the series' blistering speed and spectacular destruction to dizzying new heights [TOO MANY WORDS THANKS] with an all-new Revenge mode, challenging gamers to battle the clock and unleash their frustrations on rush hour traffic [WANKING].

EA will debut Burnout DOMINATION at the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) in Los Angeles on [DOESN'T EXIST ANY MORE LOSERS], 2007.

Here comes 2007!

And with it the exciting prospect of new Japanese developed Xbox 360 games...


...We can't help but think they're not exactly taking themselves seriously.

Smug Cunt Buys a Wii

Wii Launch Germany:


Hopefully we'll see a lot more of this, to the point where the number of smarmy Nintendo fan-boys becomes so vast, that a law is passed stating a fully legal mass culling.

Next week; Smug Cunt Buys a PS3.

Little Britain: The Game.

How much fun does Little Britain: The Game look?

This much!:

Best game ever! Five gold stars and 100/40.

Woolworths: Stocking PS3 November 17th

Poor Woolworths, they forgot the part that says "2007".

Live vision - See everything live!

If you're like us, and you employ a close friend to film what goes on outside with a digital camcorder so that you can watch the day unfold via the comfort of your own home, then this may well interest you.

Tired of not being able to answer important questions because they were asked several hours before, to someone who wasn't you? Well thanks to Microsoft and their super new "Live Vision" camera, you can!

The Live Vision camera sits on top of your telly and appears to be not much more than a USB web cam that you could probably get from Argos for less than a fiver, but don't be fooled! The Live Vision camera can not only take snap shots to put on your Gamertag, but actually shows you things live.

No longer do you have to wait for Gary to get back with that all important tape of the day, simply watch the day as it happens.

Of course, on paper it all sounds fantastic but as usual there are a few problems with the marketing images...


1. Only 5 Xbox 360s were sold in Asia, I got one of them, and the other 4 were sent to shops to display Ninety Nine Nights. This woman is obviously not real.

2. Not only is she an Asian woman with an Xbox 360, she's also managed to set up a USB webcam. I suppose we're supposed to believe she's some kind of super woman.

3. She can quite obviously see who she's talking to (it's live after all) and yet she's continuing to talk to him, and hasn't blocked/yelled abuse at him.

Conclusion: Live Vision will enable whoever uses it to meet young attractive fake Asian women.

Hooray!

Review: Contact - DS

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