Problems with Assassin's Creed: Part 1 (of 867)

New Contender for Creepiest Baby Game:

Mmm... That's right Jade, put on the nice panties that daddy bought you. Now do a little turn... That's the ticket.

Joke of the Month.

Q.) Why did the Italian plumber get kicked out of the chocolate factory?


A.) Because he tried to marry a galaxy (Mario Galaxy).


More gems like that: Soon.

Imagine Babies or Baby Pals: Which is Less Likely to Result in Arrest?

Imagine Babies

Not so much a baby as a toddler really. Slightly gormless expression suggests parents are half-witted benefit hoarders who's attempts at educating the fat idiot are 12 hour marathons of Boo-Bah. Nice room though.

6/10

Baby Pals

Looking like a cross between Hannibal Lecter and a nudist, Baby Pals definitely caters for audiences seeking a more risqué approach to child upbringing. Baby's size in comparison to clouds suggests that it is some sort of baby giant - or in fact, giant baby. Effective use of little white bird.

8/10

Golden Compass DS Promotes Child Abuse!

Keeley Hazell Plunges Shaft into Box

It's upsetting to see that video game launches are still a fairly Z-list affair, but at least the title should keep the site traffic flowing for another month.

Horsez 2 Vaguely Familiar...

Of course! It's the sequel to Horsez. How silly of me.

Assassin's Creed Has Gone Gold!

It's official! The game that PS3 owners have been longing for, and Xbox 360 owners are making time in between their buckets of excellent games for is nearly upon us. The game launches November 16th, and is said to be the best free running game since the free running game.

We can't wait!

Man Glues Head to Satellite Dish: Starts to Bleed

Let this be a lesson to you all!

Capcom Announces New IP!

Learn to Graffiti with a Talking Crayon.

Oh, and a camel in a fez.

Is The Simpsons Game Out Soon Mother?

We didn't even have to Photo-shop this one.

Yet More Brain Training Rip-Offs for the Nintendo DS

EA Embrace In-Game Advertising

Mmm... Subtle.

Exclusive: First Screen Shot of Colin McCrae 2008

Limited Call Of Duty 4 Collector's Edition Announced

The set includes:

Special Limited Edition embossed packaging

An action-packed film / documentary (168 mins run-time) entitled Great SAS Missions, containing expertly researched archive footage of the SAS in action, along with interviews and accounts from former SAS members. The film/documentary charts the history of the SAS from their formation back in the Second World War, right through to the 'Scudbusting' role they played during Desert Storm and other modern day conflicts.

'Making of' footage highlighting Infinity Ward's research, technology and story development for Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.

A level walkthrough by the developer.

A limited edition Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare poster.

An exclusive hardcover art book featuring never-before-seen concept, development and final in-game artwork from the award winning team that details the breath-taking action from the soldier to the satellite.

Fully loaded Ak-47.

George of the Jungle to Receive BBFC 18 Rating.

Hitman-hot-man Tim Olyphant in Turok 3D

But let's face it, Turok's been shit for ages anyway. It's not like he can crucify this series as well.

Another one of those rubbish vet games.

Bladestorm: PS3 and 360 screen shot comparison!

PS3

Xbox 360

As you can see, in the Xbox 360 game the man is wearing a hat making it clearly superior to the PS3's hat-less failure.