MSN Screen-Cap from About 3 Months Ago

It isn't? Thank Christ for that, I'm off to date Nelly Furtado.

Problems with Assassin's Creed: Part 1 (of 867)

New Contender for Creepiest Baby Game:

Mmm... That's right Jade, put on the nice panties that daddy bought you. Now do a little turn... That's the ticket.

Joke of the Month.

Q.) Why did the Italian plumber get kicked out of the chocolate factory?


A.) Because he tried to marry a galaxy (Mario Galaxy).


More gems like that: Soon.

Imagine Babies or Baby Pals: Which is Less Likely to Result in Arrest?

Imagine Babies

Not so much a baby as a toddler really. Slightly gormless expression suggests parents are half-witted benefit hoarders who's attempts at educating the fat idiot are 12 hour marathons of Boo-Bah. Nice room though.

6/10

Baby Pals

Looking like a cross between Hannibal Lecter and a nudist, Baby Pals definitely caters for audiences seeking a more risqué approach to child upbringing. Baby's size in comparison to clouds suggests that it is some sort of baby giant - or in fact, giant baby. Effective use of little white bird.

8/10

Golden Compass DS Promotes Child Abuse!

Keeley Hazell Plunges Shaft into Box

It's upsetting to see that video game launches are still a fairly Z-list affair, but at least the title should keep the site traffic flowing for another month.

Horsez 2 Vaguely Familiar...

Of course! It's the sequel to Horsez. How silly of me.

Assassin's Creed Has Gone Gold!

It's official! The game that PS3 owners have been longing for, and Xbox 360 owners are making time in between their buckets of excellent games for is nearly upon us. The game launches November 16th, and is said to be the best free running game since the free running game.

We can't wait!

Man Glues Head to Satellite Dish: Starts to Bleed

Let this be a lesson to you all!

Capcom Announces New IP!

Learn to Graffiti with a Talking Crayon.

Oh, and a camel in a fez.

Is The Simpsons Game Out Soon Mother?

We didn't even have to Photo-shop this one.

Yet More Brain Training Rip-Offs for the Nintendo DS

EA Embrace In-Game Advertising

Mmm... Subtle.

Exclusive: First Screen Shot of Colin McCrae 2008

Limited Call Of Duty 4 Collector's Edition Announced

The set includes:

Special Limited Edition embossed packaging

An action-packed film / documentary (168 mins run-time) entitled Great SAS Missions, containing expertly researched archive footage of the SAS in action, along with interviews and accounts from former SAS members. The film/documentary charts the history of the SAS from their formation back in the Second World War, right through to the 'Scudbusting' role they played during Desert Storm and other modern day conflicts.

'Making of' footage highlighting Infinity Ward's research, technology and story development for Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.

A level walkthrough by the developer.

A limited edition Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare poster.

An exclusive hardcover art book featuring never-before-seen concept, development and final in-game artwork from the award winning team that details the breath-taking action from the soldier to the satellite.

Fully loaded Ak-47.

George of the Jungle to Receive BBFC 18 Rating.

Hitman-hot-man Tim Olyphant in Turok 3D

But let's face it, Turok's been shit for ages anyway. It's not like he can crucify this series as well.

Another one of those rubbish vet games.

Bladestorm: PS3 and 360 screen shot comparison!

PS3

Xbox 360

As you can see, in the Xbox 360 game the man is wearing a hat making it clearly superior to the PS3's hat-less failure.

Future 360 releases worth a look-in.

Soul Calibur 4


Devil May Cry 4


Virtua Fighter 5


Mass Effect


And Eternal Sonata (probably, a bit)

More soon!

Fifa 2008, first and last impressions.

Oh dear, I wonder what could possibly be mesmerising this poor chap.

Of course! It was David Beckham's arse.

Fifa 2008 will be released on Friday 28th September in the UK and will sell really well, despite being a piss poor rehash of every other Fifa game ever made. Hoorah!

FUCKING HELL!

Interesting New Franchise From Codemasters

Pee-SP is the fantastic new pro-urinating sim for sony's soon to be slim/lite handheld. A release date is yet to be confirmed.

God Of War 3 in Panty Flaunting Shocker!

This is exactly the kind of degradation that's encouraging David Cameron to continue his existence.

Ban this filth now!

Hello? Hello? Are we dead yet mother?

Sadly not my beloved ones, at least I'm not anyway. No, I have been away you see, far away to a land where only the bravest of men have been. I'm talking about Tokyo.


Good eh? I know what you're all thinking, and I was thinking it to - but it won't fit and it'll only end up in tears.

Regardless, I'm sure you're all aware of the main reason for this year's Tokyo visit, and I can now proudly reveal what you've been waiting a whole year for;

Xbox 360 Lounge Update!

You may recall that a year ago our beloved cafe/overly expensive bar had been flattened into what could only be described as a "car park". It therefore gives me great pleasure to announce that there'll be no more car-ing on this park - BEHOLD:

"What is it?" you say? Well I don't really know. But just look at all the lovely cranes! It's like that scene from James Bond, when Bond is reaching for his watch because he thinks it's time for Doctor Who, but Blofeld thinks he's going to laser him, so he distracts Bond with one of those fold up paper fortune telling things, only for bond to open the flap and say "You will marry a man named Kieron Pinball".

More photos:


It's probably just going to be another cafe. They do that in Japan, pull down an entire building and then replace it with the exact same one. Sometimes they move the stairs or the toilets, but that's literally it.


Is that meant to say gay? Because Galy isn't really a word now is it? Is it?


Whatever it's going to be it will be filled with lashings of hot luxuary. You can read it better if you turn your monitor on its side. Unless of course you have a broken neck, and then it's probably fine.

That's all for this update folks, sorry we've been a bit rubbish lately, but Glass Museum doesn't love you. I love you though, so keep reading this, because if you stop my family will die.

Kisses.

Another one of those rubbish Sudoku things.

PaRappa The Rapper for the PSP generation

First thing we're going to do with the GO!Cam

Hitman movie: Exclusive on-set photo!

As you can see, the film-makers are taking no liberties with the Hitman license, and Timothy Olyphant, pictured above, is looking absolutely hot-shit as Agent 47. Personally, we can't wait to see him shove an innocent council worker into the back of a garbage truck!

Is Operation Flashpoint really the most realistic war game ever?

Things we're going to shoot in GTA 4: Part 1

Pigeons!

Tomb Raider Anniversary: Everybody's Celebrating!

Hopefully now they'll stop fucking around and make a decent sequel.

Pokemon Diamond/Pearl - Finally A Pokemon for the 50 Cent Generation.

Exclusive Fable 2 GDC screenshot!